VOMD

i've become a little oblivious towards the language that i've been using recently. i'm not sure if it's because i've finished uni and not using my brain at any capacity (does that even make sense?), or if it's from the people that i surround myself with.

i've grown from a shy nerd, who hated foul language when unnecessary, to a dirty street worker with the mouth of a drunken sailor who's high on weed and has the vocabulary of a well-read pornography addict... note: i am actually none of these things, just trying to draw a link for those playing at home.

the one certain phrase i've become a little obsessed with is...

vomit on my dick...

when i first heard it i actually wanted to vomit on my dick. how disgraceful. but it grows on you, and now when i hear something disgusting, see someone unfortunate, am in a situation that is awkward/humiliating/terrifying, or i actually feel sick, out it comes. "ergh, vomit on my dick".

it first hit me when i said it to my brother, and he was taken aback. that shocked me a little. then i said it to my sister and she was terrified. and then i said it to my dog, and i kid you not, he tilted his head in disgust and walked over to the corner of the yard and sat in the sun. even my dog was horrified by this saying.

but the thing that shocked me most was when i was facey chatting with my sister and she typed "vomit on my dick". i made this face - :o - yeppers. the thought of my sister vomiting on her dick was vomit worthy, and i wanted to vomit on my dick.

so now if i talk to friends, i try to make an attempt to 'breeve it to VOMD. not the most subtle, but it's better to do than create an awkward situation.

feel free to use it! it may just become the new 'thing'. like omfg, totes, or bol.

how unimpressed are you with me now?